Just a Few Things That Ruin My Life...

If you think the title of this post seems vain, whiny, and a true example of a Christian with the spiritual depth of a puddle... well then I am glad we are getting to know one another.

 1) Getting out of bed in the morning. There just has to be a way around this one. I hate this time of day so much I have difficulty describing it. lets go with "hate it with the fire of a thousands suns" The fact that I am married to a early bird only rubs salt in my wounds! I think sleep deprivation definitely counts as "wounds". Also even if I get a solid 8 hours sleep, the first thing I think of when I wake up is "Man I could use some more sleep"

2) Proverbs 31. Yes I said it. Boom. Double Hate.  I fall so far short of this scripture it is just funny. The woman in the scripture was hardworking, and well dressed, and put together. I am all like "kids if you will just leave me alone for a solid hour then I will give you an entire bag of chocolate chips and let you run around  naked." I ooze class. Also people love to say that because modern moms have conveniences they should be able to keep up with the mom in proverbs. I protest! A crock pot is not a maid. Don't agree with me?  You are more than welcome to come over and CLEAN my crock pot. Mad props to all of the moms who are able to do every thing  in this scripture. I like to file this scripture under " I really really really stink at this but Jesus loves me anyway"

3)My Tupperware cabinet. It is so out of control,if I don't get it together soon, I think my husband is going to have me committed for hoarding. Why can't I just throw half of them away? I use maybe 3 out of the 30 containers I have.

4) Exercise DVDs. I have tried . I really have. Stop laughing . We have at our house right now, T-tapp, ZUMBA, p90x, and last and most definitely least INSANITY. Hate them all. Anybody want to buy these? Anybody?

5) Vacuuming. My vacuum and I have a hate/hate relationship. He knows I have been sneaking around looking at Dysons online. I know he is a total slacker who doesn't do his job properly, and spits out clumps of my hair just to spite me.  
 6) right now in my house :

Jonathan is wailing his special war cry of "IF YOU DONT GET ME OUT OF THIS CRIB I  AM GOING TO DIEEEEEEE" or something like that. Ethan is simultaneously climbing up my body ala spider man, and demanding that I feed him "feeral" (cereal), even though I have already explained 11 billion times that WE ARE OUT OF CEREAL ALREADY YOU LITTLE TYRANT!! Now he is poking my cheek . Juuuuust in case I haven't noticed that he is climbing on my head. So Seeya . The savagges need tending.